DAY 1

I'm not sure what I'm going to write about here particularly but i had this idea today because a thing happened.

also i thought of another rule.

I am not going to tell anyone about this blog, until it has been going at least 14 days. that way I wont get the satisfaction of people seeing it until i am firmly in the habit.

also i thought as a regular feature (who do i think i am, Keith Lemon? i don't know anything about Keith Lemon) i would update the world as to my jaw clicking habits. basically my jaw is fucked and I'[m addicted to clicking it and since i'm committing to this i may as well try and hit two self destroying birds with a stone of effort. today i've been clicking like a motherbitch

I'm increasingly realising this is gonna be a massively self indulgent, uninteresting shit fest. literally no one gives a shit about my jaw. but this is my blog so hush

ok, today.

Today i was walking home from Art college (surprise surprise, art college kid write emotion blog. i literally disgust myself). i was carrying a headdress type thing made out of feathers that my friend made and i was saving from bin based demise because i am a very thoughtful and lovely person (the sort of thoughtful and lovely person the needs to tell themselves they are thoughtful and lovely because no one else will). Anyway, this caught the eye of a man leaning out his truck/van window. to describe this man - he had the plump self importance of a managerial guinea pig and the natural hue of his face was similar to that of raw pig meat or a tomato or tomato by-product. you know those men who have a face of semi extreme exertion despite not having moved for a good while. yeah that kind of man. for the sake of stereotypes lets call him BARRY. so i was walking past BARRY's van which had two other similarly meaty looking blokes in it. He called out to me in the language of the bloke, which i am not versed in at all but was able to decipher a vague intention that he liked the feathers, i said thank you, smiled my best "thanks but i have no desire to speak to you at all, please leave me alone to get reabsorbed into the punk wonder of my ipod" smile and tried to leave but BARRY wasn't finished apparently. "EYy COM BAkk, com bakk" he said eloquently. i obeyed with that sinking feeling you get when you can tell the next minute of your life has revealed itself to be a time based prick.

"Are you on of them Joffs?" says BARRY
"what?" i ask
"Are you one them Joffs?" repeats BARRY, changing literally nothing about his precious sentence
I look at him helplessly.
At this moment, one of the other blokes in the car, who both remind me somewhat of walruses calmly sunning themselves, leans over and says "Goths"
"yeah, Joffs" says BARRY helpfully
"oh, not particularly" i say. Its worth mentioning here that i am dressed in all black with skinny jeans, subtle eyeliner and messed up hair, so i guess it's not an unreasonable assumption. as it happened today wasn't a goth day (may days tend to either be glam, goth, punk or not enough effort to be considered any of those above). And i wouldn't expect him to note that were i a goth, the eyeliner would've been much heavier, perhaps with lipstick of some kind and something to pale my face. something about his meat face made me think these subtleties would've been lost on him. maybe that's patronising and judgmental but he did interrupt the best line of the song 'Black Me Out" by actual Goddess Laura Jane Grace so i feel justified.

"Are you queer?" asks BARRY, confusion beginning to play in his eyes. his eyes looked like small animal anuses.
"No" i say, recalling the 2 other times i have been asked this by men i had no desire to speak to. i guess I'm surprised it's not more. good old Brighton.
"Why Arr You all dressed Up LAIKe a Woman then?". I think this is written in Iambic pentameters, can someone check? definitely got a feel of Shakespearean about it. before i can answer he continues
"YOUUMIY GEtyAAARSE grubbedlookinglaithat"

...

my best guess is he meant i might get my arse grabbed looking like i do. there's literally nothing you can say to that. he than told me to be on my way.

this wasn't too bad. he wasn't aggressive really and i think he's more uneducated than rude. i mean, he's a dick, no question but a harmless one (if there is such a thing AM I RIGHT RADFEMS?)

either way its a bit annoying but on some level i feel like if i'm not pissing people off i'm not doing it right. i didn't start wearing make up to get friends (thats not entirely true, and as it turns out i've made loads since doing it soo....)

So thanks BARRY for reminding me why i try as you and your friends gently roast in the afternoon sun


WOOP DAY 1 DONE