wow you can do titles? DAY 8

DAY 8

I'll do loads of photos next week i promise but im really tired ok

but hey, i've kept this up for a week, low quality aside :)

today i wrote something in the form of a facebook post to the spring awakening group which im quite pleased with so I'm gonna cheat and paste it here cause im tired as a dead sloth again. going o the doctor about this on friday. teeth grinding almost over taking jaw cracking as a major literal and figurative headache

ok here it is. it's truth is somewhat stretched but i never promised to be truthful usted failed attempts at entertaining

Ok
so today i went to H&M to try and get those boots that i need to get. i went full of hope and the light of the world and now i feel crushed and empty inside. i got in there and people were all staring at me weird, which i'm reasonably used too and admittedly i was carrying a corset with big angel wings made of sellotape (the reasons for this are unimportant) and bright pink eye shadow but still. i naturally went to the girls shoes and found that girls who shop at H&M all have OFFENSIVELY TINY PIGEON FEET and so they didn't fit. i went up to the boy bit and found out that men aren't allowed nice shoes and they all have to wear ugly flat soled khaki bullshit and then this guy was in the shop who i recognized from somewhere and he wouldn't stop staring at me til i left (it turns out he was my optician)

long story short i didnt get any boots. black converse will have to do.

goodnight precious angels

by that i mean me, this blog has had literally no page views

oh hey i did add a picture

DAY 7

I slept horrendously last night and not much has happened today so it's gonna be brief. Like super brief. Jaw cracking is at a high. Only lovers left alive is good. I want to look like tilda Swindon and Tom Hiddleston and Mia wasikowska in it. It did prompt me to write a sort of joke though

What's the difference between Dracula and David Cameron

One is a horrific human like creature that feeds off the life blood of the people and the other is Dracula.

It's sort of a joke, even if you get the end long before the punch line arrives

Ok that's all I have for tonight

I'm aware of the lack of pictures sorry 

DAY 6

yah ok yesterdays angry rant was countered by the fact that after we went to a folk night that was unintentionally hilarious. in that i was at an old pub that, although was technically in lewis, spiritually was more ot home in devon and everyone in it looked like an extra from that scene in old horror films where the protagonists go in to get some local knowledge on the way to the castle or swamp or whatever and get warned by superstitious bearded locals. there was so much beard. jesus there was so much beard. beards and cardigans and the smell of burnt beer. some of the beards were being knitted into cardigans by the equally bearded women.

naturally i had chosen the wear 5 intense shades of shimmering blue and purple eyeliner, stars on my face, patterned eyebrows and a shiny shawl. everyone stared at me when i walked in. the music stopped. beards rustled.

i'm being silly and i dont want to be rude about this, it was a lovely night and they were lovely folk fans listening to lovely folk music and there was a lovely community spirit in the air. every time a folk so finished a man would loudly say YES as the applause began.

i was offered a seat next to an enormous friendly woman with disheveled hair and a big knitted jumper a lined face and drooping kind eyes. i sat down and it occurred to me how massively different two humans can look. i looked like a sort of dragonfly-greyhound-alien and she looked like a great big loaf of dusty bread. it was odd but again, very nice

on the way home we sang loudly to against me and i said a phrase which im noticing is becoming my catchphrase. "everyone is a friend if you lower your standards enough"


that was yesterday anyway. today was a very nice rehearsal and a nap that made me feel ill and jet lagged and a walk where i got adopted by some drunk folk

also i must write about the archie where are we now story but i need a drink now byee

DAY 5

first day for a while thats actually in the day

go me

i havent been feeling particularly good about anything today. my sister is doing really well with her course and i am super jealous partly because i wish i had done more music stuff and i wsh i could write songs and partly because i want a magic pill that solves all my problems. i'm sure this makes me a grumpy prick but i dont really care. this is a large contributing factor to the angry tone of this entry and the lack of punctuation.

ok todays entry (entry?) will take the form of a short and angry rant about people LEAVING THE GOSH DARN FUCKERING DOOR OPEN WHEN THEY EXIT YOUR ROOM. FOR SOME REASON EVERYONE IS INCAPABLE IN THIS HOUSE OF DOING IT. i know, real big problems, the world is a desperate place of desolation and strife. but it seriously makes me incredibly uncomfortable and its not much to do really. im sure it's only an issue for me because i dont want to be walked in on.... walked in on looking at tumblr for the 7th hour straight. also tumblr has a habit of exploding nudity whenever someone else is present. dammit tumblr. give me my life back

ha that implies i was somehow with life before tumblr.

haha

ok thats all i can do today. jaw cracking like an addicted. i'm addicted to crack.

DAY 4

Have I missed a day? I'm confused. I don't think I did.

Either way the thing happened again and it's technically tomorrow but this counts ok shut up

Today has been a wierd mix of guilt fatigue failed art and friends and mild anxxiety attacks
I went to Beth hodd's leaving event which went really wrong until I got there and then it was early nice and people liked me and I said the right things at the right time and made people laugh and smile which is one of the only things I do that makes me feel like I'm worth anything so yay well done smug little annoying me :)

Also I'm gonna continue the entirely unfunny punk butter thing because me and Beth, who I like very much were discussing johnny rotten on the country life adverts and the concept of punk butter organically came up again.

She began to sing 'god save the creeeaaaammm' and I followed up with 'the fascist margarine' and we both nearly shat with the spontaneity and joy of the moment.

Anyways it turned out fine and I made friends and almost saw someone's homemade sex tape and I
I've seren and Lauren and a few others who were there. Bliss and so on.

It's 2:07 am now and I'm gonna go to sleep. Jaw cracking started off well then the stress set it and I realised I've been doing it consistently for hours. I have no idea how I'm gonna stop doing this. It gives me a permanent sore jaw and headache.

DAY 3

I'm am tired and ill and generally low today so I'm pretty sure I won't write anything particularly entertaining. Jaw shit has been a little bit less today. Hard habit to kick

Me and Millie and itasca did create the idea of punkalife and I decided that that was the name of a punk brand of butter with a metal stud in every fiftieth tub. Good luck. But that was yesterday so I should think of something about today

We made Sellotape sculptures, chiara started collecting little samples of everything from hair to gum for her project and I did say that if she really wanted to commit to it, well, she does have a boyfriend. And what are boyfriends if not dispensers of a sort. I like chiara a lot she's friendly and fun to be around.

I'm aware of the risk of this blog being very diaryish which wasn't the point but I don't mind a little bit of that stuff. The problem is I don't want to get obsessed with writing everything that happens to me cos then I end up like Alex who diarises obsessively and I would feel pressure and no.

I did say on the first post that this blog could be insightful too and seeing as I'm not feeling up to much today here's some more sort of sad and emotional thoughts I had while listening to 5:15 and the angles have gone and tunnels.

A bit of context, last year I became so powerfully attached to a group of people from the bhasvic play. That became one of the most important experiences of my life. I was there at the birth of a friendship group and, although I already had a good group of very precious friends, I felt like a really important member of the group. We talked a lot about what we liked about eachother and our sadnesses and dreams and insecurities and stuff and they made me feel incredible and loved and so special. Poppy, jack, Gabriel, Chloe, emeline, emily, maddy. Then the group drifted because the play ended and we really tried but it's hard when that was our only common time and now everyone's gone of to uni and stuff. Even since starting city I have seen my other group only a very few times.  Even Georgia, who is possibly my best friend and we texted all the time. We haven't texted in days, although she is texting me as I write this so yay. Also recently I've got really into spring awakening and I'm forming some strong bonds with them and I've got some good friends in city. And I love it. But I feel guilty and sad that I am sort of replacing these people who at one point were my reason for getting up. That's a sad thought, that you make all these bonds and then they are just gone and you make more but the same thing happens. Ephemeral stuff is a bitch. It was so important and probably one day I won't even be able to recall the feelings. None of us will. It's all lost. To be replaced by stuff that will also then be lost. And it'll probably get less significant everytime like how everything you recycle card it gets more shit.

Poppy, jack, Gabriel, maddy, emeline, Emily. They were the angels. It's 5:15

I had angels down as a metaphor for my own bullshit problems but it seems the angels aren't in me they're in them and throw they're gone

Shit.

shitting shit shit.

Anyway, there we go, different style of blog today and I'm keeping it up 3 days later

DAY 2

Ok I fucked up I'm aware. This technically is a missed day but to me it's still the same day. It's half midnight and I am super tired and I'll so won't write much. Jaw clicking still intense despite constant attempts to stop. Teeth grinding major problem too.

A few things occurred to me today (I'm doing a daily blog, I may as well just directly copy Richard herring)

We had to draw a heap of male nudes in college today and it does make you realise, men, particularly men people want to draw, are all lumpy and muscly and their buttocks look really stressed and over worked just by sitting there. Like they're flexing and wish for nothing more that gentle release. In short, cisdude bodies scare me.

Also we had a rehearsal. I love rehearsals so much. I want to campaign to make it legal to marry a rehearsal.i want to kiss rehearsals face. I also found out that my range increases by about 2 tones when I'm infront of people and have anxiety and adrenalin. Yay. The fact these things also make a voice much harder to control is less yay, but hey I didnt fuck up touch me so go me.

Also I had one of those days where you look in the mirror and think "oh, you again"

Also I learnt a lot about stripping. Although I will never strip it is interesting and I have my playlist worked out (in the still of the night by white snake and the rocky road to Dublin by the dubliners and roxanne for the sake of irony)

Also I told the story abut the dude from yesterday to laughter so I guess it's all good.

Also I love kez and Rosie a lot.

Also I need to stop starting paragraphs with also

Ok now I need to sleep, mostly so I can regroup my throat. The cold has returned and she is angry.

DAY 1

I'm not sure what I'm going to write about here particularly but i had this idea today because a thing happened.

also i thought of another rule.

I am not going to tell anyone about this blog, until it has been going at least 14 days. that way I wont get the satisfaction of people seeing it until i am firmly in the habit.

also i thought as a regular feature (who do i think i am, Keith Lemon? i don't know anything about Keith Lemon) i would update the world as to my jaw clicking habits. basically my jaw is fucked and I'[m addicted to clicking it and since i'm committing to this i may as well try and hit two self destroying birds with a stone of effort. today i've been clicking like a motherbitch

I'm increasingly realising this is gonna be a massively self indulgent, uninteresting shit fest. literally no one gives a shit about my jaw. but this is my blog so hush

ok, today.

Today i was walking home from Art college (surprise surprise, art college kid write emotion blog. i literally disgust myself). i was carrying a headdress type thing made out of feathers that my friend made and i was saving from bin based demise because i am a very thoughtful and lovely person (the sort of thoughtful and lovely person the needs to tell themselves they are thoughtful and lovely because no one else will). Anyway, this caught the eye of a man leaning out his truck/van window. to describe this man - he had the plump self importance of a managerial guinea pig and the natural hue of his face was similar to that of raw pig meat or a tomato or tomato by-product. you know those men who have a face of semi extreme exertion despite not having moved for a good while. yeah that kind of man. for the sake of stereotypes lets call him BARRY. so i was walking past BARRY's van which had two other similarly meaty looking blokes in it. He called out to me in the language of the bloke, which i am not versed in at all but was able to decipher a vague intention that he liked the feathers, i said thank you, smiled my best "thanks but i have no desire to speak to you at all, please leave me alone to get reabsorbed into the punk wonder of my ipod" smile and tried to leave but BARRY wasn't finished apparently. "EYy COM BAkk, com bakk" he said eloquently. i obeyed with that sinking feeling you get when you can tell the next minute of your life has revealed itself to be a time based prick.

"Are you on of them Joffs?" says BARRY
"what?" i ask
"Are you one them Joffs?" repeats BARRY, changing literally nothing about his precious sentence
I look at him helplessly.
At this moment, one of the other blokes in the car, who both remind me somewhat of walruses calmly sunning themselves, leans over and says "Goths"
"yeah, Joffs" says BARRY helpfully
"oh, not particularly" i say. Its worth mentioning here that i am dressed in all black with skinny jeans, subtle eyeliner and messed up hair, so i guess it's not an unreasonable assumption. as it happened today wasn't a goth day (may days tend to either be glam, goth, punk or not enough effort to be considered any of those above). And i wouldn't expect him to note that were i a goth, the eyeliner would've been much heavier, perhaps with lipstick of some kind and something to pale my face. something about his meat face made me think these subtleties would've been lost on him. maybe that's patronising and judgmental but he did interrupt the best line of the song 'Black Me Out" by actual Goddess Laura Jane Grace so i feel justified.

"Are you queer?" asks BARRY, confusion beginning to play in his eyes. his eyes looked like small animal anuses.
"No" i say, recalling the 2 other times i have been asked this by men i had no desire to speak to. i guess I'm surprised it's not more. good old Brighton.
"Why Arr You all dressed Up LAIKe a Woman then?". I think this is written in Iambic pentameters, can someone check? definitely got a feel of Shakespearean about it. before i can answer he continues
"YOUUMIY GEtyAAARSE grubbedlookinglaithat"

...

my best guess is he meant i might get my arse grabbed looking like i do. there's literally nothing you can say to that. he than told me to be on my way.

this wasn't too bad. he wasn't aggressive really and i think he's more uneducated than rude. i mean, he's a dick, no question but a harmless one (if there is such a thing AM I RIGHT RADFEMS?)

either way its a bit annoying but on some level i feel like if i'm not pissing people off i'm not doing it right. i didn't start wearing make up to get friends (thats not entirely true, and as it turns out i've made loads since doing it soo....)

So thanks BARRY for reminding me why i try as you and your friends gently roast in the afternoon sun


WOOP DAY 1 DONE

In the Beginning

Okay

So this is a blog i have decided to make. It has humble intentions. not even the intention of being read. i want to write more so i can be good at it so i can get famous and touch the lives of artsy kids everywhere. That's the dream. i figure you get better at writing by writing, so write I shall. The grammar shall be poor, the spelling inexcusable but by god, i am going to WRITE THIS SHIT EVERY DAY. until i fail or get dispirited which is likely knowing me and my near inability to commit to anything. EVERY DAY ABOUT ANYTHING.

Rules (i need rules otherwise I'll get overwhelmed immediately so here's some things to help me commit)

 1) must be done every day. days away from the computer will be written elsewhere and uploaded as soon as possible.

2) must be over 5 sentences long

3) must attempt to either be insightful or amusing or both

4) must include a picture at least once a week

5) missed days may have some sort of punishment system

i dont have to read through the writing. it isnt supposed to be polished work

more rules may be added as PROJECT WRITE SOMETHING EVERYDAY YOU LAZY PRICK continues.

good okay, well here's the beginning

also i am Charlie Wood. no one's going to follow this though so it doesn't matter.